પ્રશ્નાવલિ

ચમકારા પહેલા વીજળી કરે ગડગડાટ શા માટે...?
ઉડાન ભરતું પંખી કરે ફડફડાટ શા માટે...?

કિનારે આવી સમુન્દ્ર કરે ઘુઘવાટ શા માટે...?
ડુંગરા ઓળંગતો પવન કરે સુસવાટ શા માટે...?

વરસાદ પહેલા ઊકળતો બફાટ શા માટે...?
યુધ્ધ પહેલા થકવતો વિશ્રામ શા માટે...?

સૂર્યની સેના લાલાશ શા માટે...?
તણખો આણે પ્રકાશ શા માટે...?

શીત હિમ બાળે શિશિરની ઊપજ શા માટે...?
હસતી આંખો રેલાવે નીર શા માટે...?

આનંદનો સાથી શોક શા માટે...?
દર્દનો સાર્થી આઘાત શા માટે...?

આજની સવાર ના ભૂલાવે કાલની રાત શા માટે...?
સપના પણ નભે યાદો પર શા માટે...?

ઊઘડતી આંખો કરે છે રુદન શા માટે...?
ને મીચાતી આંખોમાં એ જ નાચ શા માટે...?

સૂર્ય સાથે અસ્ત થાય મેઘધનુષ્ય શા માટે...?
અવાજ પાછળ અલોપ થાય પ્રતિઘોશ શા માટે...?

'પૃથક્' આ લખતા તને થાય રોમાંચ શા માટે...?
આ પ્રશ્નાવલિનો ના દેખાય ક્યાંય આરો શા માટે...?

Behind the wheel…

Do you like cars?? Do you like to drive them?? Are you one of the crazy perceiver who cares to think how your suspension springs dance when you slam on the brakes or pick up the pace? When you spin your steering? Do you enjoy the sound of your car’s first roar in the morning and when it starts rolling? Do you feel the gears moving in you when you go from second to third gear? Do you like to count zero as the number of cars that overtook yours at the end of the day? Do you feel like breaking of a dream when you have to turn the ignition off? Do you always find yourself looking back in admiration at your car at the first corner you turn after you lock and start moving? Do you feel yourself truly “YOU” when you drive? Well, I do.

But here I want to write about some experiences when the view out of the windshield looked different… when the world outside the car asked for special attention or extra consciousness from inside.

1^st experience is from 1^st July 2007. It was a rainy evening in Ahmedabad. I had to go to the airport to drop a friend. On our way to the airport my wipers stopped working. It was raining heavily and we weren’t in a position to stop. In a few moments the windshield was all foggy and the view was all blurred due to the flow of water. Then we had to open the window glasses and had to see thru the open window. Somehow we reached the airport… at the time of returning to the city the situation was worse. I was alone this time and the water had formed a layer on all the glasses by film condensation. But the good part, there was a friend of my friend at the airport and she also was going towards the city so we decided that I would follow her car. So as we started, I was able to see almost nothing and all my concentration was on two red back lights of her car. It was a good experience, when you are almost blind and following, literally blindly, the only lights in the sight, without thinking what it is or what direction is it leading. And then the flow of the water on your windshield and different patterns formed by it – that gives a feel of a door invisible otherwise but so much existent and in reach, an image to blind you from the reality and still so real in itself.

In a few minutes I had to take a turn from where I had to take a different road. And soon the image lost in reality…the door shut – hidden by the light which refused to come thru it. The patterns united and became a single shade of black. And then my eyes started a search for their existence. They started blinking rapidly for a while and then stopped suddenly; alert and wide open like checking any footstep around or looking for their own footprints in the air. Soon they found themselves breathing as the car reached another corner and we found the street lights to take us home.

My second experience is from 5^th September 2007. We went to a hill station called Mt. Abu. It was rainy season and we enjoyed our two day stay there. We had to start at 5 O’clock in the morning the next day. When we open the door of our cottage we found that we were in a dark cloud. It was so dense that once in the car we weren’t able to see the mark on the road just a couple of meters away, with all our head lights and fog lights. We decided to move on. This was an experience when all I knew was I was moving, on unfamiliar roads, in unknown direction, unaware of the valleys on either sides, unknowledgeable of the possible bears wandering around to hunt. We actually turned a wrong corner and reached a dead end. Moving around in the cloud can make you feel gloomy and lost. Till the farthest point where your sight can reach you see a blend of grey substituting everything that ever existed. With every breath you take you give way to the spreading giant to eat you from inside. And you keep on running into it in to find a way out of it.

We found the correct path and started descending. Soon we left the blurred grey and entered a smiling combination of blue, green, orange and violate. And the joy of living prevailed in the surroundings again.

The third experience is from 27^th September 2007. It was just after the dusk at the industrial south east of Ahmedabad. The silence in the air was so much disturbing. There were many other vehicles on the road but looked lifeless moving objects. The air was still and the yellow in the sky so dull that froze the flow of gasoline in the cars and of blood in the drivers. The view from the glass was of a model of a civilization in a museum, where motionless idols perform a frozen moment in the history. A moment that has taken away the smell from the flowers, withdrawn colors from the rainbow, evacuated the life from the plane of the Earth…
Well, the life was pumped soon and the rainbow was colored again and the flowers were spreading the fragrance again, as the wheels moved on.

The “Good” Germans

I have been to Germany for an exchange. This is my experience of the German culture and people.

For Germans, I had an impression that they consider themselves a level above the others. They are generally rude and unfriendly. They would not talk to you and would not like if you would start talking. They are very much in their own business and mind much if anybody comes close to their domain.

But what I experienced in the three quarters of a year with them is entirely different…entirely opposite. Germans are very polite and helping in nature.

I had an impression that they are not helping but I have seen them stopping the tram for anybody whom they see running. They would do the most anyone can do to help you even in a very small matter. I was told they are kind of rude and don’t smile. But I have seen them always smiling whenever my eyes met their eyes. Always ‘Danke’ or ‘Danke Schön’ (Thank you!) is replied with ‘Bitte’ or ‘Bitte Schön’ (Not at all!) and ‘Entschuldigung’ (Excuse me!) with ‘Kein Problem’ (No problem!), both with smile. I found them very polite even during casual talks. I had an impression that they don’t talk much; they would sit in the tram or u-bahn or s-bahn and read their news paper or magazine. But I have seen them traveling with beer bottles and singing “We are the champions…” in really thick voice.

Another thing worth learning from the Germans is their self discipline. Most of the systems in Germany are open and one can cheat easily if he wants but still nobody cheats. Honesty prevails all over! They are very open to new things and accept good and bad things from others equally. I found them very interested in knowing about other cultures and languages. And I have seen them adopting some customs which they found good.

In short, Germans are really a good community, friendly, honest and caring. That is my experience, hope you have the similar experience…

પૂછે છે!

જેનાથી આશ હતી મને વૃષ્ટિની,
એ નૈઋત્યના પવન દિશા પૂછે છે.

જેને હતો વિશ્વાસ બંધ આંખનો,
આજે બે વત્તા બે ચારનો તર્ક પૂછે છે.

મુઠ્ઠીમાંથી પાણી બની વહેતી આ રેતી,
મારી ભાવનાઓનો અર્થ પૂછે છે.

જેના આધારે જીવન આખું પસાર કર્યુ છે,
એ મને પોતાનું જ અસ્તિત્વ પૂછે છે.

કેમ કરી રોકું ઊર્મિઓના થનગનાટને?
વાટ નિરખતી એ સ્નેહાળ આંખો "કેમ છે બેટા?" પૂછે છે.

જેના પર ગ્રંથો લખવાનુ મન થાય છે,
કૃતજ્ઞ છું - એ એક શબ્દ માટે તો પૂછે છે.

શું જવાબ આપું 'પૃથક્',
જ્યારે એ મૌનનું પણ કારણ પૂછે છે?

૧૩/૦૪/'૦૭

Heaven

Have you ever been to the heaven? Have you ever just passed by the door(s) to the heaven? By the way do you know how many door(s) does the heaven have?

Why?

Well, I just want to know if the “Heaven’s door” is still intact! And what are the ways one can transit through them if they are still standing?

Why? What you mean by “still standing”?

Hmmm….there are two reasons which have lead me to this curiosity…

And what are the two reasons?

Well, ok. I will tell you…

The first one is the knocking on that door. It was started by Bob Dylan in 1973. I am talking about the song called “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door”. It was written by Bob Dylan for the movie “Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid” as a county song. But then it was sung in a variety of genres and by a number of different people. In 2004, it was voted number 190 by representatives of the music industry and press in Rolling Stone magazine's "500 Greatest Songs of All Time" issue.

According to Jon Bon Jovi, the song is covered by probably a hundred people… Wikipedia counts The Grateful Dead, Bob Marley, Bryan Ferry, Mark Knopfler, Roger Waters, Eric Clapton, The Sisters of Mercy, Seether, Cold Chisel, U2, Guns N' Roses (which reached #2 in the UK Singles Chart), Television, Stained Class, Avril Lavigne, Warren Zevon, Daniel Lioneye, Bon Jovi, Randy Crawford, Beau Jocques, Chaozz (Czech) and Zé Ramalho (Brazil). Also British punk Rock band, Siouxsie and the Banshees, the Red Army Chorus and Ensemble, South African group Ladysmith Black Mambazo with U.S. country diva Dolly Parton.

For the complete cover list… http://www.bjorner.com/songsk.htm#_Knockin'_On_Heaven's

I just thought of looking for different versions and in a single search I found 34 different versions, with 2 or 3 repeating from same singer but sung at different occasions. So today my playlist contains only 34 tracks all with the same title still different genre and different singing and so on. Which includes some more names like Metallica, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Red Hot Chilli Pappers etc. I am listening to them from the morning and it is late night by now when I am writing this. But still I am not thinking of switching it off or to turn to some other tracks. I am liking it the same as I heard it for the first time…

The one from Guns and Roses rocks as the one by Avril Lavigne. The one by Ladysmith Black Mambazo is cool and Mickie Krause’s version is different…but good.

A great song! And I am sure it is famous enough to be listened by a lot of people daily. Surely one or the other radio station broadcast it daily.

Thus, after so many knocks on the door for so many years I doubt its existence.

Wow! I believe the architect of the heaven would have considered enough factor of safety while designing the door so don’t worry about the knockin’.

And what is the second reason..!?

The second reason is a recent experience I had.

I think I have been to the heaven or at least I have peeped into it.

What? When? How?

I am a traveler and recently I have been to a Palace in south Germany called Schwetzinger. It was kind of summer resident for the kings of that region. A really good place… I was roaming around in the garden there and then at some point I saw this...

A Look into the Heaven!

And when I was here, I felt nothing other than happiness and I don't know where that happiness came from! My feet were still but my eyes were dancing and so was my heart. It was a moment when my brain stopped opposing my heart. May be it was dancing in the same rhythm as my heart.

A moment to remember! So, now tell me about the doors and possible ways of transition.

........................

Hey say something.... Don't react like others did... Don't look astonished... Don't be speechless... Don't look Lost!

Crowd - Scarlett - Mind - Me

New Experience...New Feeling...New Question

I am a lone wolf. Crowd generally irritates me so I generally try to avoid it. Sometimes I have even felt that I have Enochlophobia...that is I am afraid of crowd... But I had a different experience today. I was in a crowd...in an open-air dance party. And it was so densely packed that there was no space to even move a muscle...dancing far fetched!

I was not feeling out of 'my very own comfortable' domain somehow. It was a new sensation I was experiencing and I liked it. I was not thinking "what hell on earth, people here are so crazy!?", which I would have thought on other day! I was enjoying watching people, doing silly things. And after a while of this enjoyment I was feeling something odd. I was feeling lonely...in the center of the crowd...surrounded by friends...still lonely! And I don't remember such feeling anytime before even when completely alone... It was eating me from inside...the loneliness was worse than the irritation or fear caused by the crowd.

We left the place in sometime and as I was going away from the crowd, I thought 'whatever happens, I won't be lonely again'. I recalled a similar dialogue "If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill, as God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again!". And with that Scarlett O'Hara came to my mind. I like Scarlett for her never dying fighting spirit...

On my way home I was thinking about her. I don't like some of her absurd thoughts and nonsense acts like, she always wants somebody to give away her worries and she would pick the first one she could think of! It is kind of she runs from a situation where she could be alone...then anybody may be the one...Charles or Frank or Ashley or Rhett! I don't like this part of her character...

And then the thought came back to me... I have been very choosy for my companions...my friends unlike her. Next came the question... should I also run from the loneliness or should I accept it? or should I fight it? Should I have someone or anyone or should I be alone as I have always preferred? or should I seek the perfect one?

......and the question remained....

Spirit...

Death

the Moment in which you 'Evaporate'...
with your Dreams incomplete...with your Thoughts unexecuted...
from the Picture you painted...from the Plan you made...
from the Map you drew...from the World you created...
leaving them...untouched... still....

Living Death

the Moment in which everything 'Vanishes'...
your Dreams burst...your thoughts freeze...
the Time stops...the World melts...
Past closes the Door behind and Future in front...
you stand loosing Everything but your Life...
like a Patient of Amnesia...in a total Blackout...
like a Captain...watching his own Court Martial...
stunned...unable to cry... unable to die...

Life after Death

the Moments, after Living Death, you decide to 'Live on'...
saying I am Hurt...not Dead...
burying your Grief... overwhelming your Fear...
fighting the Past and Future for Present...writing your own Destiny...
planning your Journey again...constructing your Road again...
aiming your Destination again...erecting your World again...
determined to struggle...to rise... to succeed...

to start with....

lets see... what do i have to write...

you know, these are the moments when you agree, leaving all your optimistic characteristics behind that Murphy does exist! giving proofs for his law...his existence... you have 'n' no. of things to say when there is no one to listen and when you get audience, you don't feel like speaking... and then you think you are a good thinker however not a good speaker... but then they say "Murphy was an optimist!"

now, that's the kind of crap i write.... and i intend to write here.....